The Girl Experiment: It's All Coming Back to Me

In seventh grade, mean girls circulated rumors and names about me. Devastated, I swore never to return to school. I did not disclose my shame to anyone, banking on the hope that denial would be the best coping mechanism. I refused to acknowledge that everyone at school was calling me...a flirt.

They used colorful and hurtful acronyms to describe my tendency to garner the attention of boys and I found myself sobbing into my pillow.

After four days of The Girl Experiment, I can tell you this: those girls were right. But, this time there are no tears.

I don't know what's come over me. It might just be that the guys in my life (the ones who've been in my life that I've never even looked at before) are suddenly looking at me since I am logging hours upon hours being "a girl." Or, it might just be that my attitude has changed and I am now ready, confident, and hopeful enough to flirt. My bets are on the latter, but who's to know?

The point is this: The Girl Experiment is working!! Hooray! What fun. Suddenly men are no longer marriage prospects but these adorable entities who long for a little ego stroking. The project hasn't been easy. I've been waking an hour earlier in order to shave, blow dry and apply all manner of creams, conditioners, and concealers. But oh the payoff is extraordinary. Sally, Megan, and I have all reported tremendous growth in overall effectiveness. We've seen a particularly sharp increase in the quality of responses from the UPS man, the desk clerk in Central Services, and the random, handsome stranger who offers to provide directions. The world may just be as hungry for girls as we have been for real men!

Let the beauty, helplessness, and power of being a girl continue on!